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Feb 01

Darylisms

The anniversary of my daddy’s accident is quickly approaching, so naturally he has been on my mind a lot lately.  It seems unreal to me that almost four years have passed since I had to tell him goodbye.  I remember so much about him and I remember it all so vividly that it feels like he’s still here.  I suppose that isn’t a big shock…  not because he was my dad, but because forgetting things about someone like him would be damn near impossible.

My daddy was full of personality – loud, boisterous, and insanely funny.  He could make a joke out of anything and when he was having a good time those around him did too.  Some of my favorite memories of daddy are the nicknames he handed out to everyone, his sayings, mispronunciations, and the things he parroted back from his favorite TV commercials/shows.  Daddy had a thick and beautiful Appalachian accent, that he often embellished as a way of picking on himself.  A lot of his sayings were famous southern terms, but the way he said them…  made them distinctly his own.  I thought I’d share some of my favorite “Darylisms” with everyone tonight, tell some of the stories behind them, and translate the more unique ones as a way of passing on some of my happier memories of him.

Daryl Sanford, 2006

Daryl Sanford, 2006

  • Where’s the beef? – He picked this one up from a Wendy’s commercial.  It was something he said when he was hungry.
  • HEAL! – This one was said just before grabbing a child by their forehead and slamming them down on a bed.  I’m sure he picked this one up from a Baptist minister.
  • Little Woman/Little Man – This was a loving term for a child, but he called me this even after I had given birth to his grandchildren.
  • The Sanford Family started when Daryl Sanford farted, now Cassie is retarded.  The Sanford Family. – This one was meant to be sang to the Addams family tune and family names were often rearranged to suit whoever Daddy was in the mood to pick on at the time.
  • Mmmmm…  Beefy – This one came from a Chef Boyardee commercial.  He said it quite often at dinner.
  • Bite me! – This one came from WWF.  This was pretty much his mantra for the late 90s and early 2000s. He said it so often that I once bought him a cake that had ‘Bite Me’ written on it.
  • Hell far! – Hell fire!  It’s an expression meaning the same thing as Dammit!  He picked it up from Papaw.
  • Cassie-Molassie – This was mine and had a whole poem that went with it.  I’ll not be repeating that poem as it was used to torment me throughout my childhood.  Hearing the name still gets me all red-faced and fired up…
  • Y’uns – Means the same thing as y’all.
  • Ice – For whatever reason my daddy had the worst pronunciation for the word ass ever.  When he said, “I’m about to beat your ice” you weren’t sure if it was okay to giggle at him or if you should runaway in fear.
  • Ass – Same as above.  I think he just had the two words confused.  Either way – my daddy used ass to chill his drinks.
  • Britt-Brat – My younger sister.
  • Ain’t/Cain’t – Thank God the dictionary finally picked up the word “ain’t,” because there isn’t a soul alive who could’ve convinced him that it wasn’t proper English.
  • Whoop – Spank.  I was never spanked.  I received whoopin’s.
  • Tar – Shit
  • Tater – Potato/Joint
  • Kodecker – Kodie’s nickname.
  • Young’un – Child
  • Pissy – Cranky
  • Red – his wife
  • Spider’s barking/Cut the cheese/Sat on a frog – What can I say?  My dad was amused by his own flatulence.
  • Yonder – There
  • Up the road apiece – A non-specified distance
  • Chester Drawers – Chest of Drawers (I believe I’ve seen this one on another blog…  if you read this:  yes, my dad said it too.)
  • MMMMMmmmmm….  Go-to-bed! – My least favorite saying ever.  The way my father drew out the MMMMmmmm part and the quickness of the Go-to-bed part got on my ever lasting nerve.  Even when I was an adult my skin would crawl when those words fell out of his mouth.
  • Go away.  Don’t go away mad, but go away. – Here’s another one that annoyed the ever-living crap out of me.
  • Pull my finger – I’m sure you all know what this one means.  However, I’m pretty sure that none of you were ever convinced your father couldn’t release his gas unless you pulled his finger.  I’m even more sure that your fathers never convinced you they would explode if you didn’t pull their fingers, so the gas could escape.  Yeah…  that was me.

2 comments

  1. masodo

    Thanks for sharing those memories!
    You’d done’m proud with this, I sure :D

    1. The Misfit

      Lmao. He was funny… and you’re right, he’d definitely have loved this post. :)

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